“update your grey matter cause one day it may matter”

Partner and breakfast

Somebody said that to me the other day.  I liked it.  There it is.

I have gathered a hint that writing about my personal growth and attempts at stirring conversation (other than climbing) via a blog are not fulfilling certain requirements.

To amend this audacity, here is some illusive move-by-move intensive spray, ensuring your slack-jawed attention….

Rainbow Wall.  The Original Route.  November 10, 2013.

Partner makes coffee while you just begin to notice a world outside your own eyelids.
Frantically search for the park pass (the same one you have used for weeks and just used yesterday) as the sun gradually mantels the horizon.
Warm up the truck, simul-searching for park pass and shoveling delicious eggs into mouth (also prepared by partner)
-Hey, hey, be nice! … I cook the dinner and make the lunch, he cooks the breakfast.

Begin drive to Red Rocks, with a brief weight load check at port-o-john near entrance to campground.
Prepare and discuss fib for entrance gate worker–as park pass still hasn’t shown itself
Get ushered into park with smiles and glitter—FREE PARK DAY! SIcKbirD
Drive entrance loop while rocking out to the LCD SoundSystem.
Park truck, finish packing bags (partner sneaks 2 large coils of cordelette into bag, it has become a personal joke to do this on most outings.
***don’t make fun your partner for having so much extra shit on their harness)

Begin hike.
Nail the first part of the approach, but follow a trail up an extra steep slope prematurely (after passing under Cloud Tower) because you figure you need a little more leg work for an upcoming Patagonia trip.

Entering crux on second pitch

Hike down hill through a cat-trail before finally emerging beneath Red Rocks best version of the “death slabs”
Laugh and giggle
Sneak off for a pee (hydration is key)
Kick steps up the seemingly endless sandstone slabs, while ogling at the rad fold that splits Rainbow Mountains North Face right down the middle.
Rack-up, snack-up, bundle up.  (November on a north facing wall….I put on long underwear and still have no regrets about it.)
Partner heads up the first pitch 5.6
Partner slips off 6 feet up the first pitch, his catlike reflexes turn him around 180 degrees.  He lands with one foot on a 3L drom and the other foot on a boulder 1 foot off the ground.  Left hand gently bitch-slapping the wall during the pirouette.


Brief discussion of pain and options.
“You Okay?”
“Don’t talk to me just yet.”

Climbing crux of second pitch


“Can I see your wrist?”
“I am okay, gonna start again”

Mulligan commences
Sending commences.  Partner links first and second pitch 5.6 to 5.12.  (with a half-twisting-micro-dyno to crimps from an awkward stemming stance in a blank corner).
Wild!  Harder as a shorter person.
Sending continues.  Partner climbs next pitch 11d (wild barely dihedral seam with face holds.  Loud ape noises echoing about.  This pitch is a combo package of gear and bolts),
and next pitch 11b (more wild steep stemming, face climbing, and finger locks) and next pitch super fun 5.10 through a tree to a giant ledge.
Wait, wait, wait.  Don’t be so judgemental just yet, we decided to climb this route in blocks.  He leads the first half, I lead the second

Arrive at PartnerSwapLeadTime (huge ledge 6 pitches up).

Simul-climb through blocky ledges with tremendous rope drag, while placing minimal protection.

Partner Headed up Pitch 3

Lead up nearly hold less stem box, excellent climbing 5.12
Grunt while debating on giving up because holds are just beyond reach and another dyno, really?
Grunt more.
Grunt and crimp tiny nothings.
Continue up strenuous lay back with perfect one foot long allotments for protection while partner adds to difficulty by “accidently” yanking on the tag line attached to your back-side 5.12
Grab onto personally placed protection because accidental yank freaks you out.

Gather thoughts, commence mulligan

Pitch finishes with wild face climbing left to anchor.  5.11
Ascend leftward then up *heel hook for bonus points somewhere along this pitch.
Lastly, clamber a 5.10 hand crack through roof, sandy slabby finish.

Top out an actual summit in Red Rocks!!!!!!
Take climbing shoes off, set up video camera for summit dance.
Stub toe
Eat peanut butter sandwich
Sign summit register
Pause for a moment of Gratitude!!!!! (Andrew Barnes)

Partner following upper crux pitch

Search for better rappel anchors
Use slings that are obvious, but aren’t the cleanest line.
Commence rappel, moving knot so its easier to pull, repeat 7 more times or so.
Touch down to ground alongside both ropes and happy partner.

High Five!!!!

Hike out in daylight, nailing the de-proach with no extra training errors.
Sip Beer back at truck while chatting with an older gentleman who finds it appropriate to look me up and down while asking,

“Rainbow Wall?  What time did you start?  Today? “